I am not sure where to start this…when does one really know when you become awkward…maybe its something you are born with. Being awkward definitely isn’t learned, no one would ever willingly pick that up.
This all started a long time ago, I believe I was…hmm let’s say I was 12. Going to elementary school was hard enough growing into your teeth, and figuring out who you are. Having a crush on someone was the most confusing time ever…who knew what to do with all those overflowing feelings.
I had a crush on my best friends, older brothers, friend. Did you get that? He was tall, blonde, hazel eyes…swoon. Jimmy was a dream boat…how would I ever get him to notice me?
Being 12 and in love you don’t have many great ideas to choose from in your young innocent mind, un-scarred by love. The first thought that came to my mind was POETRY. OF COURSE!! Poetry won’t terrify a teenage boy, that is a wonderful idea!
So I went to the library, picked out a massive old poetry book, picked from Yates or something like that, very ambitious.
So I wrote out a small paragraph that I felt summed up my feelings and passed it on to my friend to give to him when he was at her house next.
I went home and anxiously awaited my friends call with the news, that he had read my poem and had fallen madly in love with me wanting to be my boyfriend for ever and ever.
The phone began to ring…I answered. My friend told me she had given him the note, and that they were reading it as we spoke. She then proceeded to tell me that they were laughing and making fun of me, while ripping up the piece of paper and throwing it in the garbage. She laughed, said sorry and hung up the phone.
First heart break is the worst, if only I knew what lay ahead and how I would be longing for the days of the boy who threw my poem away.
This isn’t supposed to be a sad blog, this particular story, was just sad, there may be more of those, just warning you. But on this journey we can see, how I never change, and never learn and continue to do the same stupid things over and over again with high hopes that one day I will find my true love. He is out there I know it. <3